You Smile I Smile

You Smile I Smile
Sonshine: My Journey After the Loss of My Son

Wednesday, November 23, 2011


It’s been a dreadful year. The worst I’ll ever have. Yet I am filled with gratitude. Yes!

Of course my greatest gratitude is that I was blessed with 22 years with the best son God ever created. How I got so lucky, I’ll never know.  Thank you, Andy, for the best years of my life. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You brought a joy to my life that will sustain me for the rest of mine. I didn’t know such love or happiness was possible until you came into my life. I know you will be sitting with us at Thanksgiving dinner, and I will celebrate the wonder of you! And, of course, I will have green bean casserole and cherry pie in your honor.  I love you, Sonshine, and I can’t wait to see you again!

I’m grateful to Kenny for being there every step of the way. The one person who truly understands the enormous loss and with whom I can cry any time and not feel sorry or embarrassed or worried about making him uncomfortable.

I’m grateful to Andy’s darling friends for staying in touch still. Being with them is like having a piece of Andy with me. They are great kids, and I can see why my son loved them so much because I do too.

I’m grateful for the incredible people I work with who showed love, compassion and understanding. I didn’t see how I could even get out of bed in the morning, let alone go to work. But they have stood by me and supported me every step of the way.

I’m grateful for my friends, old and new, who have shared this journey with me with compassion and love. Some I haven’t even met that I’ve connected with online who have also suffered the same unimaginable loss. They gave me support and hope, and soon it will be my turn to help those new to this terrible path.

I’m grateful to my family...Mom, brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles for loving me, standing by me, and giving me the support only family can give. I love you so much!

Andy, thank you for staying near and letting me know you are there helping me. My loss is immense, but I feel your presence, your love, and your help every step of the way. Thanks for the pennies from heaven--they bring a smile to my face every time.

I have been shown the best in people, and I believe that people are kind, loving, and just trying to do the best they can.  Life is good, and we can all have profound impact on other people’s lives. I know this because so many people have helped me and created huge positive ripples in my life this year. So give thanks and spread the ripples of love!


  1. Happy Thanksgiving to you....I am so sorry that you have experienced this loss, but so happy that you have learned so quickly the truths which keep us here despite our losses. Andy was lucky to have you as a mother, indeed !

  2. Even reading your words I can feel your love for Andy, and it's so incredibly beautiful. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!