You Smile I Smile

You Smile I Smile
Sonshine: My Journey After the Loss of My Son

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Beating the Clock

I still go to the cemetery most every day. I know Andy’s not there, but it’s the last place I left him, and I like being where his body is. I talk to him, tell him about my day, and meditate in the sunshine. It’s so peaceful and full of wildlife. I see birds, butterflies, foxes, and even deer. If it’s raining, I bring an umbrella. It’s a very special, sacred time for me, and much like the mailman, neither sleet nor rain nor heat of day can keep me away.

It hasn’t been a problem getting there…til now. Once Daylight Savings Time goes away, the gates close an hour earlier at 5 PM. I guess I understand why it has to be gated at night. Sadly, things get stolen, bad people do bad things, and kids get into mischief at night, but it makes it really hard for me to get there before they close. And it's not dark by 6:00, so why not stay open til 6:00? If I don’t leave work by 4 PM, I don’t get to go. It’s added stress knowing I have to leave work by a certain time, and there are quite a few days when it’s just not possible. It makes me really sad, and it hurts my heart.

So what do you do? I don’t know…think outside the box, I guess. There is one gate that is not locked, but it’s not big enough to drive my car in. I’ve been thinking I could park outside the gate, walk in after hours, and walk over to Andy’s grave. Good exercise, if nothing else. The thing is, he is on the complete opposite side of the cemetery from the gate, and it’s a very big cemetery. Will I be able to walk that far in snow or ice and be out of there before dark? I don’t know, but that’s the plan for now. I will find a way! You see, I would do anything to spend that special time with my beloved boy. Gosh I can’t wait to see him again!

No comments:

Post a Comment