You Smile I Smile

You Smile I Smile
Sonshine: My Journey After the Loss of My Son

Monday, October 10, 2011

Happy Birthday Sonshine!

Twenty-three years ago today, Andrew Edward Katchuk came into this world. It was a Monday. I remember because I thought, "oh yay, I don't have to go to work today!" They said "It's a boy" and I heard his first cries...oh, what a beautiful sound! Then they placed him in my arms for the first time. It was instant love, absolutely instant! Then they whisked him off, and after pressing on my stomach for what seemed like forever (ouch) and a few stitches, they sent me to my room.

I was absolutely starving, so they brought me a huge tray of food. I ate every last bite, and yes, the hospital food tasted like the best meal I had ever eaten. I was also exhausted, and I fell asleep with a full stomach and a heart full of love for MY new baby. It was just too good to be true. Truly it was the best day of my life (except for all the days and years to come with my precious son).

Some time later, I woke up, probably because the epidural was starting to wear off. I thought, "Oh, this is starting to hurt a little." And as the minutes clicked by, and it eventually wore off all together, it really, really hurt. I remember telling Ken, "Wow, nobody warned me about this part." But I didn't care, I was ecstatic. One of my friends from work had had her baby the day before, so I walked down to see her...very sloooowly walked down haha! Later that day, they brought Andy in to stay with was so wonderful. I was sitting in bed just crying my eyes out. The nurse asked me what was wrong, and I said "I'm just so happy!" Can you say "hormones going crazy?"  :-)

Fast forward to 22 years of being a Mom. They were years filled with love, joy, and some pain...but overwhelmingly joy. I had the best son a mother could ever ask for and I am so deeply grateful that I got to have this handsome, loving, intelligent, wonderful person in my life. It's so hard now, but it was all worth it, and if I knew then that he would die so young, I would still do it. Thank you, Andy, for the best years of my life. You are forever in my heart, my soul, my memory. I can't wait to see you again. What a wonderful day that will be. I love you sonshine.

All my love,

1 comment:

  1. Yes, and doesn't that say it all perfectly ? Even the sad days after the end of Andy's time on Earth and the occasional flatness of the days and holidays without him still can't scratch or dent those glorious days of his being with you ! Some days, and some moments, just are forever, and always will be. Beautifully written Pam